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Let’s Talk About… ???

I have no idea what to call this post. In fact, I have no idea what this post is even going to be about. I just opened this up and decided to just start writing. Do you ever get those days where getting out of bed and facing the world seems like the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do? I’m currently having one of those weeks.

I forced myself to go to university on Monday despite everything in my head screaming at me to stay in bed. I forced myself to go to work and my afternoon appointment yesterday even though I knew it wouldn’t make me feel any better. Today I caved and decided I’d spend the day in bed, sleeping, pretending to watch TV and eating everything because I’m stressed and worried and scared. I thought it would make me feel better but it turns out it’s only made me feel worse. In fact, now that I haven’t moved all day I don’t know how I’m going to convince myself that facing tomorrow will be any better.

I’m having a down moment which comes around every now and again. It’s part of my depression and my anxiety but it’s hard to accept. I don’t want to spend days stuck in bed doing nothing or crying because I don’t want to go to work or university. I don’t want stare at my ceiling only to find I’ve wasted days doing nothing. I want to find the energy to get up and face the day and tell my anxiety to shut up but I don’t know how to do that. I’m trying really hard but I’m struggling to move past this current downer.

This time last week I found out I failed all of my exams for the second year in a row. That’s pretty disheartening when you know you did your best and studied so hard. People tell you hard work reaps rewards but I didn’t get the rewards for my hard work. Instead, I got an email from a lecturer emphasising his disappointment at our lack of hard work and enthusiasm throughout the year. Now I’m stuck at a crossroad trying to figure out my next move. There are cars behind me beeping and shouting at me to move forward but I can’t. I’ve tried turning up the music to block it all out but I can still hear it if I concentrate really hard. I want to move the car forward, even if only slowly at first, and continue because I know it’s what I have to do. Yet I’m scared that if I move forward too fast I’ll hit another crossroad.

Instead, despite knowing I will regret it later, I’ve pulled myself away from university to take some me time. My education is very important to me. I want that degree more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life but right now my health is more important to me. I’m struggling but there is one key thing I am shouting to remember – this time last year I could tell that I needed space. Instead, I just kept pushing forward until I broke. This year I’m not going to break. I feel rubbish, numb, worthless, stupid, angry, mad, anxious, fearful, terrified, confused and a thousand other emotions that I don’t even know how to express. But I’m slowly moving forward and that’s okay. I’m going to be okay. Even if it takes me another three weeks, I will be okay.

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Let’s Talk About… Is It Worth It Challenge?

I found this while scrolling through Facebook. It was originally created by those lovely people over at EpicReads. So the whole point of the challenge is to decide whether or not it’s worth it. Sounds simple enough right? I have a feeling this is going to be more challenging that I expect.

1. You get an advance copy of that book you’ve been wanting forever BUT an entire chapter is missing?

I thought about this one for a good while but I don’t think it’s worth it. What if the most important chapter in the book is the one that’s missing? Imagine if a chapter ends in a cliffhanger and the next one is missing. Imagine getting to the best, most dramatic, part of the book only to turn the page and find it missing. No thank you, I’d rather suffer without.

2. John Green writes another book BUT it is not written in any language you know.

I think this is what nightmares are made of. He’s one of my favourite authors and for him to release a book in a language I don’t understand would be awful. I mean I’d probably learn the language just to read it. However, in this case, it’s just not worth it.

3. You get to go to Hogwarts BUT you can never use any magic.

What is this nightmare? Being a wizard is like my dream, imagine being able to cast a spell whenever you need something. I think it’d be worth it to go to Hogwarts even if I didn’t have magic. I mean it is Hogwarts and I’d still be able to go to the classes and eat all the food in the great hall. Plus I could run around exploring EVERYTHING. That would be magical on its own.

4. You get to have lunch with your favourite author BUT they slap you every time you ask them a question.

The loophole would be just to not ask a question, right?  Regardless saying you got slapped in the face by your favourite author would be interesting. I think I’d still take the risk.

5. George R. R. Martin tells you who ends up on the Iron Throne BUT if you ever tell a living soul you’ll die.

If I could keep a secret this would be so worth it. However, I can’t keep a secret to save my life so it’s probably better I give this one a miss.

6. You write a book and it gets published BUT no one will ever read it.

Not worth it. Not worth it at all. It’s my dream to one day have something I’ve written published and for others to read. As cool as it would be to see something I wrote sitting on a bookshelf I don’t think it’d be worth it if I didn’t get to hear what people thought and loved about it.

7. You get to live in the fictional world of your choice BUT you’re the villain.

Would this work if I started off as the villain but then became the good guy? Talk about character development. I still think I’d take this one on, couldn’t pass up the chance to go exploring!

8. You can read a book written in any language and understand it BUT you can only read one sentence per day.

Not worth it. I’m more of a let’s read a book a day kind of person.

9. Shadowhunters invite you to go demon hunting BUT you have to be the human bait.

If this means that I don’t die then it would be totally worth it. Plus, I would like to go explore the institute. I was going to say it never done Simon any harm but we all know what happened there….

10. Your favourite character comes to life for a day BUT then you’re framed for their murder.

What kind of horrible question is this?? Does this mean that they do actually die or that they just disappear back to their own world? I don’t think it matters because it’d be worth it. Imagine getting to sit down and have lunch with Peeta or Hermoine. Imagine the kinds of conversations you could have!!

11. You can read any book you want for free but you are only allowed to read when you are pooing.

Easy, worth it!

12. You can time travel by reading any historical novel BUT you can never travel back.

Hello, did someone mention Outlander? I’m torn on this one. I mean it would be pretty cool but I think I’d miss everyone too much.

13. You inherit a library BUT every book you pick up gives you a paper cut.

Like a Beauty and The Beast kind of library, because I am so ready for that!

14. You can own all The Selection series dresses BUT they will never fit you.

Not worth it. I don’t go to many fancy events but I don’t think I could deal with having something so pretty in my wardrobe and NEVER be able to wear it.

15. You can experience reading your favourite book again as if you’ve never read it before BUT you have to read the entire book under water.

What kind of crazy question is this, of course. I always wish I could wipe the slate clean to re-read a book for the first time again. I’d waterproof the pages or buy a waterproof book. Can you imagine the possibilities if you had waterproof books?

16. You get to read any book you want before it publishes BUT you have to read it out loud to your nemesis.

Deal! Sign me up straight away. I hear Kasie West has a few books coming out this month!

17. You land your dream job in publishing BUT you don’t get paid.

I’ve always believed you should do what you love because you love it and not for the money. This wouldn’t bother me at all.

18. You get to go on a date with your literary crush BUT they end up falling in love with your best friend.

Nope. I mean I’m sure if I went on a date with Peeta my best friend would be very thrilled with this news. I wouldn’t so it’s not worth it.

19. You get a role in a movie adaptation of your favourite book BUT the movie is a hot mess.

I always hate when you love a book and the movie doesn’t live up to the expectations everyone had for it. I think I’ll pass.

20. Your favourite author dedicates their next book to you BUT you will never get to read it.

What kind of question is this to end on? How can you possibly answer a question like this?! I’m so torn. It’ll have to be a no because I don’t know if I could live knowing my favourite author had released a book and I hadn’t read it.

To continue the fun I’ve tagged a few people below to have a go. Take up the challenge and struggle coming up with answers like I did. Kira @ DeliriousDreams | Michelle @ The Writing Hufflepuff | Sherina @ Sherina Speaks | Emma @ What Emmas’s Reading

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Blogmas 2016 | Feeling Festive (Day 13)

Yesterday I finished my last exam of the year and today I woke up feeling very much in the festive spirit. I don’t care what we do I just want to eat lots of food, drink some wine, hang out with friends and celebrate with lots of festivities. Does anyone else get like this? I know Christmas is my favourite time of year but today I’m feeling more festive than usual.

If I had known I was going to wake up and feel like this I’d had planned to go and get some Christmas shopping done today.  I still haven’t started which is a little worrying considering it’s almost only a week until Christmas Day. I do have a list of what I have to buy, where I’m getting it from and who it’s for. That’s at least a step in the right direction, right?

Since today was my first officially day where I didn’t have to do any revision I spent it being very lazy. This morning I grabbed a blanket, made some tea and curled up on the couch with the dog to watch some Christmas films. This is how all mornings in December should be spent. I’m already excited to spend tomorrow morning, and the morning after, doing the same thing.

I’ve got so many fun things happening over the next week that I’m sure they’ll only get me more into the Christmas spirit. I’m so excited to catch up with friends who are home for the holidays, to see family you don’t always get to see and not to mention eat all the food and drink all the wine. December is such a good month and I am determined to end my crappy 2016 with a bang!


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How do you count down the days until Christmas? (Day 8)

Hello people of the earth, it’s Kira (again) from DeliriousDreams and I decided to take over Kayleigh’s blog MUAHAHAHA. No just kidding. I am doing a little bit of Guest blogging for her during her Blogmas. I have been pretty inactive on my own blog due to personal stuff and I am slowly getting back into it. In my Last Guest Blogmas Post, Kayleigh, my friend C and I compared how we celebrate Christmas. Today I wanna talk about how I count down the days until Christmas!


I have to admit, I am not the Uber Christmas person, who completely freaks out over Christmas. But this year I am pretty excited for it. That might be because I had an exhausting year and I am just looking forward to amazing food and a nice celebration.

So while I wait for Christmas to come, this is how I try to make the time go by fast.


1. Do Christmas Shopping!

I love shopping!! I have already done all my christmas shopping, because I love buying presents for other people. And I love wrapping them (even though I suck at it, ask Kayleigh).

2. Bake Christmas Cookies!

Not only is baking fun, it’s also delicious! And there is nothing better than bringing out the recipes and start baking cookies with your family or your friends. I mean, everyone loves cookies!!!!

3. Watch Christmas Movies!

What could be better than snuggling up in bed, in your PJ’s, chocolate next to you, a heating bottle at your feet & a fab christmas movie on TV? So grab a friend, or your dog, or your mom, or just a bottle of wine and snuggle up with them. Get food, lots of food, and watch all you favorite Christmas Movies. Doesn’t matter if it’s Kevin home alone, Nightmare before Christmas, It’s a wonderful life, The Polar Express, the tangerine bear or the grinch! Just enjoy some lazy time.

4. Visit a Christmas Market!

I have to admit, I hate crowded places. But I still have to visit my towns Christmas market at least once. Because it’s magical. Beautiful lights, nice stands that sell fun stuff, FOOD, drinking mulled wine. It’s a must have! I visited the market with my mom this year, and I will visit it again in about 2 weeks with a friend when we have our annual “pre christmas presents exchange with dinner afterwards”

5.  Decorate, Decorate, Decorate

You gotta decorate it all. The garden, the living room, the windows, your dog, grandma, your bedroom, the tree. Everything needs Christmas decorations and fairy lights. Loooots and LOOOTS of fairy lights are a must have! It looks pretty, brings out the ultimate Christmas spirit + time passes by faster when you have something to do. Turn on some music, grab your friend or your siblings, and decorate EVERYTHING. Sing Christmas songs and then eat the cookies you baked before.


 

Those are a few of the things I do, to pass time during december while I wait for Christmas to come. How do you spend these days? Let me know!

 

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Blogmas 2016 | How Do You Celebrate Christmas? -DeliriousDreams (Day 7)

Hey guys! This is Kira from DeliriousDreams and today I am doing a Guest Blogmas for Kayleigh. My topic is “How do you celebrate Christmas?”. I got some help from Kayleigh herself and from my good friend C!


Q1: What is a typical Christmas dinner at your house?

C:  A 4-course-meal! We always eat soup and bread as an entree, since my parents are very catholic. We always have fish and the rest always changes from year to year!

Kira: I love that we eat Roasted Potatoes almost every Christmas!! It’s one of my favorites. Mom then makes 2 meatloaves, a potato salad and a noodle salad. DELICIOUS! And then we usually eat the sweets from our Christmas Plates (Mom makes us a plate with chocolate and stuff each year)

Kayleigh: We usually have turkey with all the trimmings. So turkey, stuffing, roast potatoes, vegetables and not to forget pigs in blankets. We usually also have a soup to start with and then dessert. Dessert changes every year but it’s usually some type of cake.


Q2: Presents on Christmas eve or Christmas morning? / Before or after dinner?

C: We always open presents on Christmas morning! But we do get to open one present on Chistmas eve. But the rest isn’t allowed to be opened before morning.

Kira: We do it on Christmas eve, right after dinner. When my brother and I were kids, we did it before dinner because we were too impatient haha!

Kayleigh: We open our presents on Christmas morning. We’ve never opened anything on Christmas Eve unless it’s been new pyjama’s. It’s like an unspoken rule to have new pyjamas on Christmas Eve.


Q3: Do you go to church on Christmas Eve?

C: Yes, also on Chistmas morning. We basically go to all church events during the holidays.

Kira: Nope, never have. Probably never will.

Kayleigh: Most years, yes. When I was younger my dad used to take my brother and I. We’d then pop in and see some relatives as we walked back home. We don’t go every year anymore but we do try and make it.


Q4: Who do you celebrate Christmas with?

C: I celebrate with my parents and siblings, my grandma, my brothers girlfriends and my sisters boyfriend, as well as my niece and my nephew.

Kira: I celebrate in a small with my parents, my brother, grandma and Tapsi! On Christmas morning we go have breakfast at my grandparents house, with them, and my mom’s stepsiblings. I love that!

Kayleigh: Most years it’s just my parents and my brother. Which is nice, I like it being a small gathering as opposed to a house full of everyone. I’m not quite sure how things would work out if you were attempting to cook Christmas dinner for 20 people. I salute those who have to do it every year. Sometimes we have an extra few people at the table like my gran or my aunts and uncles but most years it’s just the four of us.


Q5: Where do you celebrate?

C: It really depends. The last two years we celebrated at home, but it changes from year to year.

Kira: We have always celebrated it at our house. When I was younger, my aunt and uncle would come over on christmas eve but they don’t do that anymore.

Kayleigh: In the house. I think it’s nice to having to rush about and travel everywhere. Sometimes we go to other family members house for Christmas dinner but most of the time it’s just in the house. I like that, especially when it’s snowing heavy outside


Q6: When do you usually buy the presents?

C: Depends on the person I’m buying it for. For close people, like family and friends, I buy them weeks to months ahead. Never last minute!

Kira: I have my presents bought and wrapped before December 1st! End of story. I am a pro at this.

Kayleigh: I try my best to be as organised as I can but it doesn’t work out that way. Normally it depends when my winter exams fall. Luckily this year my last one is December 12th which means I’ll have plenty of time to hit the shops before the last minute Christmas rush starts. I do try and pick up a few small things in September and October. I like to spread it out so my bank balance doesn’t take a huge hit at the end of the year.


 Q7: When do you usually have your tree up? Do you help to decorate it?

C: I put it up every year and decorate it. I have been doing that since I was 12 I think! And I always have it up by November 30!

Kira: We usually have it up by the first of December! My dad loves getting a tree! I usually help to decorate it, but this year I did it *singing voice* alllll byyyyy myyyseeeelf!

Kayleigh: I beg my mum every year from December first to put the tree up. Sometimes I’m lucky and she’ll say yes and it goes up early, like this year. Other times I have to beg and beg. Most years it goes up the second weekend in December. I decorate the tree myself only because I’m normally the only on begging to make the house feel like Christmas. When you have winter exams having a tree to look at reminds you of what you have to look forward to once you get them out of the way.


 Q8: Do you and your family bake Christmas cookies?

Kira: Yes with my mom, every sunday during December!!

C: Yes I mostly do it on my own haha! Sometimes with my mom or my little sister.

Kayleigh: No. We tend to buy a lot of mince pies but we don’t really bake anything. I’m thinking of making something like that this year through but we’ll see what happens with it. We’re usually busy with other things.


 Q9: Whats your favorite thing about Christmas?

Kira: The food!!!  Also, playing board games with the family, just the holiday spirirt in general. The whole Christmas thing is just magical and exciting. Listening and singing to Christmas music, the christmas decoration and lights in the city, the movies on tv, wearing christmas PJ’s and just watch a movie and eat and sleep and aaaah.

C:  No matter what you believe in, you come together to celebrate and share something.

Kayleigh:  Do you have the time to sit and listen? Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I love how festive everyone gets and how excited and happy everyone is. I love getting to spend a few weeks with your nearest and dearest. I love getting to spoil family members and friends with presents they’ve wanted for ages but never got around to buy themselves. I love taking trips into the Christmas markets and I love waiting until it grows dark and all the lights come on. I love the first snowfall of December watching it as you’re snuggled up in a warm blanket watching from the window. I love wrapping myself in my duvet, drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas films all month. I love that it doesn’t matter what channel you turn out there is always something Christmassy on.


 Q10: Whats your favorite Christmas memory?

Kira: The first annual Christmas morning breakfast with my grandpa after he got home from the hospital. I was just happy to have him back. Other than that, I just enjoy it in general. It’s always a great time.

C: When I was like 7 I wanted this Barbie “shooting star” with a spinning skirt and stuff and wanted it for sooooooo long and then I opened my presents and I got a different Barbie and my sister got the one I wanted. First I was really sad, but then I saw how happy my sister was… and then I was so happy for her because I hadn’t seen her that happy in a long time.

Kayleigh: I don’t think I really have one favourite memory that stands out. I do love getting to spend a full day without interruptions with my family. It reminds me how lucky and fortunate I am to have people around me who support and love me unconditionally. I’ve had that every year since I can remember so I guess that would be my favourite thing. Just feeling so loved, lucky and fortunate.


Soooo this was our little Christmas Q&A! I think it’s so interesting to see how we all kind of celebrate the same thing, but so differently!

How do you celebrate Christmas? Let us know!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS YA MUGGLES!!!

 

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Blogmas 2016 | Gift Giving (Day 6)

December is my favourite time of year. I love how festive everyone is and how everyone gets involved in the celebrations. I love that it’s a time of year where you can spoil your nearest and dearest with something they’ll love. I also love that it’s a time you get to spend with the people you love and care for most.

These past few days I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what sort of gifts I’ll be buying for my nearest and dearest. It’s always something I like to put a lot of effort into, after all, they are my absolute favourite people. I think it’s important to get them something they want and that they’ll enjoy but also something that just expresses how much you care.

My gift giving list is almost complete and I’m quite looking forward to getting my exams over with so I can start getting everything organized. I am not the kind of person who can leave shopping until the last minute. I don’t understand how people can still be out buying last minute bits and bobs on the 24th. I’d rather be sat at home with a hot drink, snuggled on the couch by the tree watching Home Alone or The Polar Express. Christmas Eve should be a day of relaxation before the big day finally arrives.

Every year I always have a few go-to gifts that I always get the special people in my life.For example, I always buy my mum some chocolate. My brother always gets a play station game and my dad always gets a stand-up comedian DVD. These things will no doubt still continue this year. It’s nice knowing that they always expect something they’re used to.


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